Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Okie Senate candidate wants return to "biblical principles"

Playing to his audience recently in Tulsa, U.S. Senate candidate T. W. Shannon told a Christian business group that  he thinks “God is raising up ... a new generation of leaders to return to biblical principles.”  Modestly, he did not say explicitly that this generation includes him.  Maybe God will send YOU a whisper in your ear late at night letting you know if you're in the included or excluded generation. Lay flat on our back so both ears will be available.

"Biblical principles" mean multiple wives at the SAME TIME, right? Just like Solomon. And think of all the money that will be saved on medical costs when doctors use spit and dirt to heal disease. Just like Jesus did. And who's going to work out the crop rotation in the farm bills because farmers will be required to let their fields lie fallow every seventh year. Red Lobster restaurants will have to close because all that shell fish will be forbidden. Banks will be forbidden to charge interest on loans. How's that going to work out? Tattoo parlors will be put out of business as tattoos are forbidden under "biblical principle".

The stone suppliers and wall building businesses should see a rise in sales as those items will become the capitol punishment replacement for lethal injection and firing squad.

The sabbath day will be moved from the daylight hours of Sunday to sunset Friday to sunset Saturday just like in "biblical principle" times.

How will flat-earth Okies who crave a return to "biblical principles" with the same desire  they crave regularity in their digestive elimination justify any votes for T. W. Shannon since this man is of even more mixed race heritage than President Obama who is at least half-white?  Shannon is some white, some black, AND some native American via the Chickasaw tribe.
Shall I go on?